These are emailed from MY doctor...!!! 

Let me tell you about my doctor. He's very good. If you tell him you want a second opinion, he'll go out and come in again.
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He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years before he realized she was Chinese.
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Another time he gave a patient six months to live. At the end of the six months, the patient hadn't paid his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.
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While he was talking to me, his nurse came in and said, "Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see him."
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Another time, a man came running in the office and yelled, "Doctor, doctor!! -my son just swallowed a roll of film!!" The doctor calmly replied, "Let's just wait and see what develops."
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One patient came in and said, "Doctor, I have a serious memory problem." The doctor asked, "When did it start?" The man replied, "When did what start?"
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I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my ears. His advice: "Don't answer it."
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My doctor sure has his share of nut cases. One said to him, "Doctor, I think I'm a bell." The doctor gave him some pills and said, "Here, take these - if they don't work, give me a ring."
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Another guy told the doctor that he thought he was a deck of cards. The doctor simply said, "Go sit over there. I'll deal with you later."
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When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, he told me to stop going to those places.
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You know, doctors can be so frustrating. You wait a month and a half for an appointment, then he says, "I wish you had come to me sooner."