Spiritualize.Net

Grandchildren

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes
of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before.
After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one
said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"

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My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He
asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62."
He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

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After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old
slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.
As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her
patience grew thin.
Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she
heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

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A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood Was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I
sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked,
"No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.

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I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it
was. She would tell me and was always correct.
It was fun for me, so I continued.
At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you
should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

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When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did,
Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa.
The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

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When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "Mine says I'm four to six."

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Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant,"
said a teacher.
The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what
pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."

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A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat
of the truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close.
"They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving > cologne and they go out and smell each other."

Karl - age 5

Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your
French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

Chrissy - age 6

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a
sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of
kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"

Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop
opening presents and listen."

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a
friend who you hate."

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears
it everyday."

Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are
still friends even after they know each other so well."

Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I
looked at all the people watching me, and saw my daddy waving and
smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."

Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him
alone all day."

Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her
old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and
little stars come out of you." (what an image)

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But
if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once
talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbour
was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old
gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the
little boy said,

"Nothing, I just helped him cry"

When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out
that God is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot!

All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this.

please bless all my friends in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day! And may their life be full of Your peace, prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with You.

She is pregnant, he had just saved her from a fire in her house, rescuing her by carrying her out of the house into her front yard, while he continued to fight the fire.

When he finally got done putting the fire out, he sat down to catch his breath and rest.

A photographer from the Charlotte, North Carolina newspaper, noticed her in the distance looking at the fireman.

He saw her walking straight toward the fireman and wondered what she was going to do.

As he raised his camera, she came up to the tired man who had saved her life and the lives of her babies and kissed him just as the photographer snapped this photograph.

3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
> finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?'
> The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in
> and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's
> sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!''
>
> 4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was
> tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he
> asked with a tremor in his voice, 'Mummy, will you sleep with me
> tonight?'
> The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
> 'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.'
> A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
> 'The big sissy.'
>
> 5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the
> children's sermon.
> All the children were invited to come forward.
> One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat
> down, the minister leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty dress.
> Is it your Easter Dress?'
> The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on
> microphone, 'Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron.'
>
> 6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year
> old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the
> shower.
> She said, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!'
> I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her
> tummy.'
> 'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your bum?'
>
> 7. A little boy was doing his math homework.
>
> He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
> Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine....'
> His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?'
> The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.'
> 'And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked
> 'Yes,' he answered.
> Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, 'What are you
> teaching my son in math?'
> The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.'
> The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that
> son of a bitch is four?'
> After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, 'What I taught them
> was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'
>
> 8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken
> Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken
> Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '.... and so Chicken Little
> went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is
> falling!'
> The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that
> farmer said?'
> One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said:
> 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!''
> The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
>
> 9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I'm Mr.
> Sugarbrown's daughter.'
> Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane
> Sugarbrown.'
> The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr.
> Sugarbrown's daughter?'
> She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'
>
> 10. A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play
> with the boys?'
> Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're
> too rough.'
> The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,
> If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?'

A prayer for your computer ....

Dear  Lord,                            





Every  single evening

As  I'm lying here in bed,

This  tiny little Prayer

Keeps  running through my head:

God  bless all my family

Wherever  they may be,

Keep  them warm and safe from harm

For  they're so close to me.

And  God, there is one more thing

I  wish that you could do;

Hope  you don't mind me asking,

Please  bless my computer too.

Now  I know that it's unusual

To  Bless a motherboard,

But  listen just a second

While  I explain it to you, Lord.

You  see, that little metal box

Holds  more than odds and ends;

Inside  those small compartments

Rest  so many of my friends.

I  know so much about them

By  the kindness that they give,

And  this little scrap of metal

Takes  me in to where they  live.

By faith is how I know  them

Much  the same as you.

We  share in what life brings us

And  from that our friendships  grew.

Please  take an extra minute

From  your duties up above,

To  bless those in my address  book

That's  filled with so much love.

Wherever  else this prayer may reach

To  each and every friend,

Bless  each e-mail inbox

And  each person who hits "send".

When  you update your Heavenly  list

On  your own Great CD-ROM,

Bless  everyone who says this  prayer