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"They walk among us!"
I walked into a Blimpie's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free". "They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free". She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.
They walk among us and many work retail!
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One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?"
They walk among us!!
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While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff.
" They walk among us!!
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I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told her, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." She responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
They walk among us!!
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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
They walk among us!!
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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
They walk among us!!
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While standing in line at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces." Yep.
They walk among us!!
For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:
>
> Sally was driving home from one of her business
> trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly
> Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
>
> As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped
> the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
>
> With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into
> the car.
>
> Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make
> a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old
> woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
>
> "What in bag?" asked the old woman.
>
> Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's
> a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or Two.
>
> Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder,
> She said:
>
> "Good trade.."
"If you live to be one hundred years old, I want to live to be one hundred minus a day, so I never have to live one day without you." - Pooh
"I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind." - Wuthering Heights, by Emily Bronte
"Ever notice that 'What the hell' is always the right decision?" - Marilyn Monroe
Reality continues to ruin my life. - Calvin and Hobbes
Laugh and the world laughs with you... Cry, and the world looks sheepish and suddenly remembers it had other plans.
- Anon
Life is a test, and I didn't take very good notes! - Anon
"It only takes a split second to do something you'll regret the whole rest of your life." - Kevin Costner in 'The War'.
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.
A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet.
She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully.
Three times, even. The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes.
Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap,
she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug
Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door.
She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention but
he was too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged ! it on the glass counter. That did it!
"And what do you want?" the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice, "I'm talking to my brother from Chicago!" he said without waiting for Tess to reply to his question.
"Well, I want to talk to you about MY brother," Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone! "He's really, really sick... and I want to buy a miracle." " I beg your pardon?" said the pharmacist." "His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now." She replied all in a rush. " So how much does a miracle cost?"
"We don't sell miracles here, little girl. I'm sorry but I can't help you,! " the pharmacist said, softening a little.
"Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs."Standing next to him was the pharmacist's brother, who was a very well-dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, "What kind of a miracle does your brother need?"
" I don't know," Tess replied with her eyes welling up. I just know he's really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can't pay for it, so I want to use my money." " How much do you have?" asked the man from Chicago.
"One dollar and eleven cents," Tess answered barely audibly. "And it's all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to." "Well, what a coincidence," smiled the man. "A dollar and eleven cents - the exact price of a miracle for little brothers. "
He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said "Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have the miracle you need."That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed free of charge and it wasn't long until Andrew was home again and doing well.
Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place."That surgery," her Mom whispered "was a real miracle, I wonder how much it would have cost?"
Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost...one dollar and eleven cents ....
Plus the faith of a little child.
In our lives, we never know how many miracles we will needed.
The spiritualist understands that a miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law.. And I know you'll keep the ball moving!
Here it goes. Throw it back to someone who means something to you!
A ball is a circle, no beginning, no end. It keeps us together like our Circle of Friends. But the treasure inside for you to see is the treasure of friendship we've granted to each other.Today I pass the friendship ball to you.
Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you.
The spiritualist understands that a miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law.. And I know you'll keep the ball moving!
Here it goes. Throw it back to someone who means something to you!
A ball is a circle, no beginning, no end. It keeps us together like our Circle of Friends. But the treasure inside for you to see is the treasure of friendship we've granted to each other.Today I pass the friendship ball to you.
Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you.
MY OATH TO YOU...from God
When you are sad.....I will dry your tears.
When you are scared.....I will comfort your fears.
When you are worried .....I will give you hope.
When you are confused.....I will help you cope.
And when you are lost....And can't see the light ... I shall be your beacon.....Shining ever so bright.
This is my oath.....I pledge till the end.
"Why?" you may ask?.....Because you're my friend.
SAINT THERESA'S PRAYER
May today there be peace within you. May you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be.... May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.... May you be content knowing you are a child of God... Let this presence settle into our bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us....
Amen.
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