|
A number of Primary Schools were doing a project on "The Sea", and the kids were asked to draw pictures, or write about their experiences.
Teachers got together to compare the results, and put together some of the comments that were funny, and some that were sad.
Here are some of them. The kids were all aged between 5 and 8 years.
I should warn you there are some words used in this section that will reveal how advanced the vocabulary is these days in this age group, or have I led a sheltered life...? Teaching staff have - as ever - a warped sense of humour! 
Whales are animals, not fish. If they don't get air they can drown,
like my brother did last summer. (David age 7)
Oysters balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
A dolphin breaths through an a---hole on the top of it's head. (Billy age 8)
I don't like the sea. It makes me sick on the ferry. (Peter age 6)
My goldfish died. Why? (Katie age 5)
If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all
round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)
I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like
Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)
When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to
cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating
beans. (William age 7)
I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.
How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is
always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age
6)
Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can give
you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they
have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
My mum has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish. (Laura age 5)
When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my w---y
small. (Kevin age 6)
When me and Sarah went to the sea side in the summer holidays, we hid in the sand dunes and watched my big sister doing it with her boy friend. It
was fun. (Lauren age 7)
A submarine goes under the water like a fish, but it has lots of seamen
inside. (Emma age 5)
When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of
sailors (Valerie age 6)
Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)
On holiday my Mum went water ski-ing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her f---y.
(Julie age 7)
End |
