Well, there are many courses that a person can go on to learn the skill of coping, the web is full of them, and in the full throws of suffering any kind of grief I don't expect a person to start on that route.

What is needed is a guide to the lesser-beaten track of recovery, because that's what it seems to be, a lesser-beaten track. The well-beaten road to deeper grief is so attractive, and an upward path, seemingly steeper, is not attractive to the weakened and weary at heart.

Grief is a necessary process that we all go through to a greater or lesser degree. On a lighter note the loss of freedom for example, if compensated by a greater reward is soon dispersed, nobody would get married otherwise!

Whereas the alternative aspect of loss without any kind of reward, can affect a person for years, think here of the paraplegic who only has in their own mind, more restrictions to expect. Seeking an end to it all is perhaps understandable, and we admire those who overcome such obstacles.

Loss of personal belongings in perhaps a robbery, even the whole house, through fire or flood, leaves a feeling of helplessness that can perhaps be blamed or attributed to another person or indeed an ‘act of God', and many have recorded a loss in faith through this course of thought, and resentments lasting for perhaps years.

So how do we cope with the far more damaging loss of a loved one, no matter what form that loved one takes? It might be a companion of many years, or a child here for just a brief moment, because the ties that bind are simply as strong the love that formed them, and we've all heard of ‘love at first sight'.

How do we deal with the loss of a trusted and faithful friend, one who has been with us through thick and thin, wordlessly and unconditionally devoted, giving tirelessly of much needed companionship? Regardless of how the loss has happened perhaps after a long and fruitful life, but even harder when one has to end their suffering ones self, for humane reasons.

Who but the experienced can even imagine these kinds of pain?

The Victorians had a set process of a widow wearing black for a period, then grey and lastly purple, so everyone knew what was happening and didn't make a social blunder, the custom of wearing black armbands in days gone by helped the onlooker to express much needed sympathy, but seems to have been lost in time.

So, the therapist helps by being a guide through the so-called ‘process' of grieving. I don't like that term ‘process' because it smacks of triteness and belittles the suffering, as if there is a time limit and we're all just waiting till the grief ‘wears off'.

A guide is a person who points the way, it's up to the traveller how fast they wish to move, and which direction they want to go in. Of course the job is to give best options according to the means and equipment, physical, mental and emotional that is on hand.

For instance the fit and positive person will set off with their guide in a very different manner to the exhausted and foot sore ill equipped stranger in a foreign land, they might even be positive simply through ignorance, and that can only carry us all just so far.

So the guide must be aware of dangers to the unwary, and be prepared to catch the faller before they hit the ground. The therapist who has travelled on this road already has the knowledge and experience to prepare the traveller, just as we would a new friend on hearing about a visit to uncertain climates.

"Don't forget your umbrella" might be a little simplistic, but you get the idea.

Loss and grief in the Traditional Chinese Medicine discipline has a well-tried and tested means to understand the links between mental, emotional and physical. When explained to the patient the surprise is most often evident, and releases comments like: "Oh, that's why my skin itches so!" And I mention this part of my training for good reason, knowledge and understanding is power - is empowering - to the willing learner on any path.

Hypnotherapy links the deeper unconscious healing process to the conscious desire to recover enough normality in ones life, without the unhappy experiences over-riding the joys remembered.

Healing through understanding how our inner self is able to continue with living.

Healing while the memories form into a kinder substance, gently wrapping us in that familiar love.

Healing at the same time as allowing the emerging, recovering new self to form.

Healing with a promise of better to follow when we are ready.

Hypnotherapy takes the guide and the patient on a journey that may go through sad and happy times, but always emerges with a new regard and respect for the God given ability of human kind to love and live again.  Amen to that.

You can read more about the Traditional Chinese Medicine connections between physical, mental and emotional on my website: www.acupuncture-in-norfolk.com

Location: Reepham in Norfolk, East Anglia, is about 20 minutes from the outskirts of Norwich. Appointments are made by telephone: 01603 879126

The cost of treatment is dependant on the monetary resources of the client. I have helped many people through the holistic healing approach, from the busy man working all day in his office, who has a hidden fear of public speaking, to the retired farmer who’s back pain has troubled him all his working life.

If unable to answer the phone I will ask you to leave a message speaking slowly and clearly, and give your contact number so I can return your call as soon as is possible.

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