A diagnosis of infertility - whether it is explained or unexplained - can leave you feeling extremely disappointed and without hope. But does this mean the end of a life long dream? Or are there things you can do to increase your fertility and help you become a parent?

It is estimated that one in seven UK couples have difficulty conceiving - approximately 3.5 million people. A wide variety of factors affect fertility, and there are many potential causes of infertility. These range from physical and chemical factors to emotional and psychological factors.

RECENT RESEARCH has drawn attention to the effectiveness of using hypnosis to support IVF treatment. The use of hypnosis during embryo transfer doubles the IVF/ET (embryo transfer) outcome in terms of increased implantation and clinical pregnancy rates. Furthermore it seems the patients' attitude to treatment was more favourable.

Regardless of each couples unique situation, they all find their struggles with infertility highly emotional and stressful - which is completely understandable, given everything that they have to go through. The ongoing striving for a baby can leave you feeling out of control and hopeless. It can affect every aspect of your life, from your relationships with your partner, family and friends to your career. It can be the first real test of a marriage. The majority of infertile women report that coming face to face with their infertility is the most upsetting experience of their lives.

Unfortunately, their heightened levels of stress and increased feelings of depression can have a very harmful effect on their ability to conceive and carry a baby to full term. Research has shown that stress affects the hormonal system, which may result in decreased fertility. Stress causes tremendous changes in the body's biochemistry and rhythms. It upsets the body's natural balance, and over time can lead to chronic health problems.

What can you do? Complementary medicine has come into the public eye so much more in the last few years, and the fear of the 'unknown' has diminished to such an extent that therapies like Acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicice are now available on the NHS. Any therapy that reduces the stress levelsis good and you can ask your doctor who in your local area he would know about.

How can Hypnotherapy, Acupuncture (or acupressure / no needles) actually help?  Both on the physical and emotional levels. Hypnotherapy can help to decrease the emotional effects of infertility, and it can also work to help increase fertility itself. By reducing stress, relieving anxiety, lifting depression, increasing the patient's sense of control, it enables patients to cope better and take better care of themselves during this time. Acupuncture can open up any chanNels that might be causing a 'blockage', and if you have a dislike of the thought of needles, then Acupressure is a very good way to go. I describe one kind of this below as TFT.

As part of the treatment I teach people a variety of self-help tools, including self-hypnosis, which can be used for many things including deep relaxation. Relaxation techniques help women to cope with, and heal from, the stress of infertility while also substantially increasing the rates of conception.

Hypnotherapy also helps couples to prepare for pregnancy, birth and parenthood. This process will often address unconscious resistance to conception as well as any ambiguity towards parenthood.

"Why do you want to be parents?" And "why would you not want to become parents?" are two questions I always ask, and couples are often surprised, but simply discussing these aspects can bring many beliefs and misunderstandings forewords.

An open mind and an open heart are two essentials for parenthood.

Emotional Freedom Therapy - Otherwise called 'THE TAPPING PROCESS' is used for the stress.

Now, any time and anywhere, when ever you get an uncomfortable feeling you don't want just do it. Whatever the unwanted emotion. Fear. Helplessness. Frustration. Sadness...anything you don't want, just do EFT and it will go away.

Some folks do this in the car, on the bus, in the queue ... wherever. You can go to the bathroom and nobody will know that you are doing it! To tap the face and body it is not needed to be harsh, just feel it as a friend would call your attention to something ... see?

DIRECTIONS:

I. Notice the Feeling - an uncomfortable feeling - a stressed state - a disharmony.

II. Take one deep breath & let it out; with that feeling perhaps see the memory that is attached to it - FEEL IT GO .

III. Notice how you know its there, where it is in your body - remember the memory.

IV. On a scale of 0 to 10 where is the number? Notice it, see a number on the dial on your weighing scales there in your imagination.

V. Turn it up the feeling - make that feeling higher - stronger.

... Just for a moment now can you think of a tree?   Imagine a tree in front of you and if you pull the roots up, what happens?   It dies doesn't it?   Yes, that's what we are going to do now...

VI.  With one or both hands [it doesn't matter] here's the tapping.

1. Between the eyes: Say "I release and let it go..."
2. Beside the eyes: say "... All sadness...all fears..."
3. Under the eyes "...helplessness ... hopelessness..."
4. Collarbone: "... everything that is disharmony ..."
5. Grab your wrist and say "Peace".
6. Now remember a time when you were at peace, when you were so relaxed and it might be in the bath, on holiday anywhere at all...and let that view take you over totally... .... .... ...
   
7. Now can you get that original feeling back again? Notice if its lessened, what is left if anything.

REPEAT. Has it gone? No?  REPEAT till its gone and then... Go through it one more time - but this time do it without the physical tapping, just imagine it and say inside your head - all the same things that you have said out loud. Done it? Good.

Explanation: Between the eyes is where your eyebrows meet. Beside the eyes is where your eyebrows end. Below the eyes is on your cheek bones, directly below the pupil of the eye The collar bone is just below and each side of where your tie would be.

End

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE Sept '09

Infertility or the loss of a child are devastating; I have experienced the effects, and no matter when the grief comes it is devastating. To those who might not see these both as loss, let me assure you it is so.

Grief is a process, we are told this but it's no comfort, and we all deal with our pain in different ways, but the worst thing that can happen is that it separates people, and in a partnership the original loss is then magnified.

We have the ability to heal each other with sharing, this might be with familiar family or friends, or it might be with a therapist who has the abillity to guide understanding of our needs, and what purpose grief can serve.  

On a personal level, in a seemingly short time I lost my brother, my father, and then my mum who has gone back to spirit just a few weeks ago, and even though I am a strong believer, and have had my evidence over and over again many times, and that does lessen the pain - I was comforted in a way I did not expect.

Let me share something with you, a strange thing happened last Sunday, when I stood up to give my address in church and talked about loss, my pain lessensed. What does this mean? The thing that made all the difference was sharing it.

Yes it made me cry a bit, and then I realised that the pain was easing. No it wasn't just talking about it, I had done all that with my family, it was knowing all those people there had the empathy and caring to share, because in ways we cannot know everyone has this feeling of loss. Some of the people that day just said to me "thank-you" and I know that's because they now know that they are not alone in their experience.

The dangers of hiding or supressing grief are manifold, as a therapist I know that it can be an wound within us for years, I have seen where so many other problems have the beginnings in grief. So, I say to all who have had a loss, no matter how it has come to you, we are here to share our journey, and all those who take comfort from our experiences give back that love and so it relieves the pain. 

God bless our spirit friends for the inspiration they give us. Amen.

WHERE LOVE IS THERE IS NO SEPARATION

"Each one of you is accompanied by an illumined soul from the world of the light, by a guide, by a companion or teacher, and certainly by one who is the affinity of your spirit; for where love is there is no separation. So, my children, if your particular loved companion is in spirit life, try to realize that the etheric bridge can be crossed, for truly angels and your loved ones can come to you once you have raised your consciousness to them."

Source: "Wisdom from White Eagle" p. 19.

 

 

“We are divine but imperfect beings who exist in two worlds, material and spiritual. It is our destiny to shuttle back and forth between these universes through space and time while we learn to master ourselves and acquire knowledge. We must trust in this process with patience and determination. Our essence is not fully knowable in most physical hosts, but Self is never lost because we always remain connected to both worlds."   Michael Newton ~ "Journey of Souls" 

See 'Reading for all: Book List' ~ Top right on front page