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My friend in Aus asked how we're doing, this is what I wrote...
I bought a greeenhouse for my daughter
- the greenhouse finally arrived after 6 weeks in the suppliers storage
[all paid for ]
- then the man to erect it said he did not dig out the
base
- then we found no body to dig out
- then the man to erect said he'd do
it
- then 4 sheets glass was broken
- then the other glass arrived
- and was broken
- then the new glass arrived
- then the shelves needed
putting together [need two pairs of hands]
- then the daughter went on holiday
- then we
began to make the shelves
- then she found she was too sick to stand up
- then we
found she is pregnant
-
hooray !!!
- things are looking up!!
.......................
It almost embarrasses me to pass this on!!
A
guy goes into a seafood restaurant and asks to see the dishes of the
day. The waiter wheels over a trolley and the man examines the dishes."I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" says the man. "O.K." replies the waiter and calls out "Gervais!"
A
little French chef appears with a large knife, the waiter instructs the
chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip.
Gervais
is just about to slice at the poor squid when he notices a tear running
down its face. Gervais is touched, and admits that he hasn't the heart
to kill the squid.
"Not to worry" says the waiter, and calls out
"Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke comes out of the kitchen.
"Sir", says the waiter, "this is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans, kill that
squid!"
The dishwasher wields a huge rolling pin and is just
about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it
cringes back and gives a little cry.
"I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admits, his lower lip trembling.
"Well sir," says the waiter, "it just goes to show.
That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais. With mild green, hairy lip squid!"
Murphy's
Lesser Known Laws
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is
why some people appear bright until you hear them
speak.
2. He who laughs last thinks the
slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending
machine.
4. Those who live by the sword get shot by
those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented
fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a
50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it
wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end
to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a
time, on a hill, in the fog usually in a white Volswagen Golf Convertible.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like
it.
9. The things that come to those who wait will be
the things left by those who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish
and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat
all day, drinking beer.
11. Torch: A metal tube used to store
dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding
furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing
wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting
yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of
jury duty.
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